After the end

Music was a constant companion for Lawrence and I. His first concert (in-utero) was Prince in 2003/4ish. His first actual concert was Elton John with a 2-Cellos opener (1st grade, age 7) He and I saw Buddy Guy and Jonny Lang the next year when Lawrence was in 2nd grade, and he was so disappointed to find out that he was the only 2nd grader who knew who Buddy Guy was when he went to school the next day. He came home rolling his eyes because they hadn’t heard of a legend. “He’s a legend mom!” We saw BareNaked Ladies, Trombone Shorty, Preservation Hall Jazz band and of course, Weird Al.

Lawrence loved musicals. His favorite was Les Mis. He was 9 when the Les Mis movie came out with Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway. He went to watch the film with my sister, Carissa, her husband, Bob, and I. Later that year, Les Mis came to Playhouse Square and he and I got dressed up and went to the show…again he watched with rapt attention the entire time. So much so that the couple sitting next to us in our box commented that they’d never seen someone so young appreciate theater the way he did. (I’m sure they were “thrilled” when they first realized that they were seated next to a kid) He surprised them.

Two days after he died, I was looking through pictures of him and this song came to my mind, it’s from Les Mis and I posted it on my FB page, with a “sort-of joke” asking if any of my friend’s knew Josh Groban.

A friend saw my post and let me know that, as it turns out, Mr. Groban was scheduled to be in Cleveland the day that we were to bury Lawrence, June 29th. So I recruited a few friends and told them:

“I would be honored if Mr. Groban could dedicate this song for this heartbroken momma and her beloved boy that night. Anything that you can do to help make that happen- speak it into existence with me. Tell your friends. #bringhimhome#LLL#joshgroban “

It was Wednesday, June 29th, 8 days after Lawrence died, and the evening of the morning that we buried my sweet boy. After leaving the cemetery, I went with Bob and Carissa to their house to rest before the show. At one point, Bob decided to check what time the show started to make sure we would get there on time. From across the room I heard him say nonchalantly, “It looks like Preservation Hall Jazz Band is opening for him and they start at 7:30.”

This didn’t mean much to Bob or Carissa, but I jumped up from the couch, and asked Bob if he was serious?!?!?!

• I LOVE Preservation Hall Jazz Band

• Lawrence and I saw them play in Cincinnati a few years ago

• I always told him, and everyone else who would listen, that when I died, I wanted them to play at my funeral- New Orleans 2nd line style

This is a quote that I love! “When people ask me why I live in New Orleans, … with a lil tear in my eye I tell ’em, when you die in most cities, they give you a funeral. In my city, when you die, you get a parade.”- Louis Byron

Exactly!!

So, THIS is the band who’s opening for Josh Groban really??!!… goosebumps.

They played and they were great, and I felt like Lawrence was reminding me that music has the power to make me feel joy.

Josh Groban came on, and he was AMAZING. It was getting close to the end of his show, and I resolved myself to the fact that PHJB being the opener was all I could really ask for. It had already been such a brilliant, emotional night.

Josh then asked a violin player, Lucia Micarelli, to join him on stage, she played beautifully. Then he told us that she also has a beautiful voice and they were going to sing a duet from the musical, Sweeney Todd.

This was the 2nd time that day that I was shocked and couldn’t believe this was happening… because that 2nd day after Lawrence died, when I found and posted the Josh Groban version of “Bring Him Home”. That same night I also posted one other song, yep, a song from Sweeney Todd. “Not While I’m Around”, in this song a boy is singing to his mother. I posted it with the caption, “my boy, always my protector”.

And this is what they sang next:

Needless to say, I cried through the whole song, happy and sad tears.

A few songs later, and Josh announced that this would be his last song and said something like, ” This song has been used thousands of times, by people on all occasions; it has been played at weddings in times of celebration and also at times of grieving. We have someone with us tonight who has suffered a tragic loss. She recently lost her son to gun violence. I’d like to dedicate this song tonight to Bethany and Lawrence.”

We didn’t record the dedication, but here is what he sang for us that night. Thanks to Bob for taking such a steady video! A few seconds after he started singing, Carissa nudged me, and told me to look behind us… the whole pavilion and the entire lawn were lit up with lighters and cell phones swaying in time with the music.

It was beautiful and heartbreaking and so, so powerful!!!

Even in my grief, I am blessed, and immeasurably grateful for this tribute to my sweet, beautiful Lawrence.